Crying Over Spilled Dirt

March 22, 2009 at 8:03 pm (Uncategorized)

I bought Sunshine a pot of gorgeous hot pink gerbera daisies a couple of days ago.  They’re her responsibility, and she’s taking it quite seriously.  They stay in the girls’ room, which gets some beautiful morning sunlight.  But during nap time, because Ladybug can now get out of her bed, Sunshine likes to take her flowers elsewhere for safekeeping.  

Both girls needed a nap today.  Well, Sunshine needed a rest.  It was heavily protested, but she grudgingly carried her daisies and a few books into our room.  Thirty minutes of listening to her dance around upstairs, we let her down.  
Later tonight, just after we’d put the girls to bed, I found a rather large pile of dirt on the floor.  Covered up by my pillow.  I had Todd get Sunshine out of bed.  She came in with her head hung low.  “But Mommy, I knocked it with my elbow.  I didn’t want you to be mad at me.”  We very quietly talked about how I wasn’t upset at all, I just didn’t want her to cover it up.  That spills happen all the time.  But that she should tell us, even if it’s just so we can help clean it up.  
So what did I do to make my daughter so afraid to tell me that she’d spilled a little dirt?  We never get upset about spills.  Okay, well maybe if she’s really goofing around.  It’s possible that she was really goofing around during rest time.  But still, I don’t want her to be afraid of me.  That makes me incredibly sad.  I hope our little chat tonight will help lessen her fears of coming to me. Fear can fester and grow, and I so desperately don’t want to have this kind of relationship with my daughter when she’s a teenager.  
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4 Comments

  1. Peggy said,

    I agree with all of your commenters so far! Don’t feel bad…you sound like you’re doing a great job!

  2. Anonymous said,

    If you ask me, (which you didn’t) not telling you shows a healthy amount of moral compass: she knows what actions are not “right”. We all try to hide our failings from each other and from God. A very wise boss once said “if you’re not making any mistakes, you’re not trying anything new”. You had such a great opportunity for a teaching moment – and you took advantage of it. Well done.

  3. Anonymous said,

    That’s funny. When they are teenagers, I’m counting on fear as the deterant.

  4. Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said,

    Oh hon, it’s soooo common. They all go through the stage of worrying about getting in trouble. Of being anything less than perfect in our eyes, no matter how much we love their faults.

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